Does your dog like hugging as much as you do?
Dogs body language is one of my biggest interests. There is a lot of complexity to it and it takes time to learn. But the more you observe it, the easier it gets to interpret.
Today I want to talk about our human way of showing affection, which is through hugging. It’s something that we share with primates. It is a sign of affection for many of us but it doesn’t mean it’s like that to all of us. I know personally people who are very reluctant to be touched by anyone. There are natural huggers and people that feel incredibly uncomfortable with it. And if you hug someone who feels uncomfortable about it, are you both enjoying it then? Sometimes people can overcome this feeling of being uncomfortable but sometimes they can’t. What might end up happening is that person will start avoiding you or even stop spending time with you altogether.
I’m all about looking at the individual in front of you. But when it comes to dogs, it has even more complexity to it. When you observe dog to dog interactions, you don’t see hug like behaviours as a way of showing affection. Dogs play with each other by mouthing, chasing each other, they might paw each other but it rarely lasts longer than a second. Oftentimes all you see is a tail wag and sniffing each other. That is a very polite way of saying hello. So where comes our hugging into place?
When you hug your dog, you limit his choices. You keep him in one place and oftentimes you can block his view in the making. For many dogs, it can be a very scary experience. If you never showed him that it can be a positive practice, there is no way for him to know that you meant to show him affection. In that case, what he gets out of the experience is the complete opposite to what you get out of it.
Just like humans, dogs are individuals too. For some dogs, even though hugging is not the most pleasurable thing, they will put up with it. Some dogs might potentially even start to like it one day if they value undivided attention that you give him then. But some dogs will never start to like it unless you teach them to.
How to tell what your dog is feeling in that scenario? Look at his body language next time you approach him. If he moves away from you, ask yourself: if he likes being hugged why would he move away? It is the biggest, most visible indicator that unfortunately gets ignored by us a lot. More subtle signs include (but are not limited to) yawning, lip licking or giving you a whale-eye (where the dog shows the whites of his eyes). It might be as little as leaning away from you. It can all mean that he finds this situation stressful. Ask someone to assess his reaction if you can’t see it properly while hugging. Does he show any of the above?
The biggest danger in ignoring those subtle signals is that one day when your dog doesn’t feel well (for example has a belly pain) he might resolve to a bite after you hug him. He’s been whispering to you all this time. Now he feels no other option but to resolve to more visible measures. As Chirag Patel says “if you listen to their whispers, they don’t have to shout”.
Observing and assessing our dogs’ reaction is a skill that needs to be developed. It’s easy to miss all those subtle signs that our dogs share with us. We normally only hear about growling being a sign of an upcoming bite. But growling is already a shout. Take this opportunity to look closer, observe and start asking questions. Does your dog like hugging as much as you do?
Be a superhero for your dog – he will love you for it!
